Can We Ever Truly Understand?

One of the things that I have come to understand recently is that we never can truly understand another human being. We can never climb inside the mental processes of another person, walk around and view all of the facets that make up their internal makeup. There is always a layer that we simply cannot access, as if it was an impenetrable wall of mystery. Why is this? Why is it that humans feel the need to allow people into their life only to a certain degree? We are creatures of fear and mistrust, that much is obvious. We create lies and false truths, or half truths, to cover our weaknesses and faults. Why? We surround ourselves with people that only wish to care about us, it's only natural, and yet we cover ourselves with a blanket of security, not allowing anyone to see through it. It is mind boggling. The only logical reason that I can actually think of is that we, and by we I mean you yourself, cannot trust ourselves.

There are numerous points throughout my day that I am actually lying to myself, trying to trick my mind into thinking that it is happy and content. Why? Why is it that I cannot simply admit to myself that I do not enjoy this existence and simply wish for it to end? Now I do not wish to sound like a suicidal victim or anything, please do not take it as that. The only reason that I feel I need to lie to myself, and others for that matter, is that I do not truly understand happiness. It is an elusive concept that seems to always slip through my fingers. The more I try to grab for it and hold on the more it just fades through the cracks of my mind. Continuing on that logic, I simply create a pseudo happiness for myself to think and believe in, thus completing the constant quest for that fading idea of what it means to be happy.

I have recently been thinking more and more that relationships are a plague that has thoroughly infected our race. They cause us to break away from our simple and constant facade and actually attempt to reveal our actual self. Normally this would not be a problem but, humans are creatures of habit. What's our habit? Lying to ourselves. We must then reveal the truth to our own mind and then actually start to reveal ourselves to others. This messes with our usual routine to the point of utter confusion and the feeling of being stranded alone, or at least that is what I feel. Does this mean that I will stop being in a relationship? Certainly not, they are too enjoyable. I believe that is the eternal problem. Relationships are too healthy, and I'm not a healthy person.