Love: The Bane Of Existence

Love. One word, yet it carries so many different ideas. Why is that? Why is it, as humans, we have yet to even understand the mental state of love. Sure, chemically we know what it does to us and how our body reacts, but the mind is different. There are so many different ways one can react to the sense of love. Fear. Happiness. Ecstasy. Lust. Anger. The list goes on. The reason? Well, I don't think there is one certain way for our minds to react to the sense of loving someone or being loved by someone. Could it simply be that the state of love is not so much a state of emotion yet, rather a state of confusion?

During my last spring break I went on a very interesting excursion with a close friend of mine. I refuse to go into details as to what we actually did, just know that the purpose of this adventure was so my friend could try and win the heart back of his love. Granted we are both in college and both are dreamers, so this adventure made complete sense. We gathered our things and went on a numerous hour drive to find this girl. Well needless to say, it was a mess. I cataloged the whole event and tried to observe the various states my friend went through. I watched as my friend went from complete and utter despair, I had never seen him cry before then, to a sense of fulfillment and accomplishment, and then to a mental state of being nonchalant and accepting. The whole time though, it was love spurring all of those emotions. Love was his sadness, his joy, his excitement, his existence.

My father loves my mother, that much is obvious. As a child I always knew it, yet I had never actually seen it. Then I thought to myself, "Am I not seeing his love for her or am I just passing over it". That was when I started to take notice of all my father's actions and what he did throughout the day. It was the small actions that showed his love. I mean sure he would do some big events every now and then, movies and dinner, a gift, but are those the important symbols of love? I think not. I think you show someone love by altering your life for that person. A perfect example of this is when my father would argue about something. He's a very stubborn man, we would argue for hours, yet he would often admit that my mother was right about a subject. When my mother was out of the room and it was only him and I he would always say, "Son, your mother pisses me off more than anyone in the world, but I love her more than anything. I don't know what I would do without her". Very crude words, but it showed his emotion so purely.

My take on love? I don't know. Right now I can't really say that I am in love with anyone. Sure, I'm dating someone who I could easily say that I am in love with, but what if I don't mean it? I don't even know what it means to be in love, so how could I say that I am in love with someone? I believe our world tosses the word love around too easily, it takes away from the meaning of the word. People should just take it day by day and enjoy the person that you are with. If you find yourself asking if you are in love with someone just ask yourself one question, "What does it mean to me to be in love". Love is the bane of human existence. We go through great lengths to get it, yet we have no idea what it is. Love is the holy grail of humans. Will we ever understand it? No, not entirely at least. Will I ever understand it? I hope so. Until that day happens, I find myself just enjoying life and living it to the fullest. Now please, go out and show that special someone what it means to you to love them. Goodnight and enjoy.