I received a compliment the other day. A usual interaction between two humans that can take place at any interval throughout the day. I took the compliment as normal, mundane, and then continued on with my day. Later though, my mind began to wander back to that moment. I could not for the life of me figure out why though. Why was this moment so crucial? It was simply a compliment that had been placed on an event that could have happened any other day of the week. That's when it hit me. Compliments are trivial excuses that allow one person to temporarily alter another person's existence. You may have to follow me a bit on this one.
The compliment that I received was given over an event that I know for a fact that other person had never experienced. Now this means that the other person was going, from a mathematical stand point, a 0% experience rate to a 100% experience rate. There is no objective data to argue against that experience. There is only that singular experience. This means that the compliment given was in fact false and not true. How can you compliment someone over an event that has no argument against it? Now of course this can only apply to a small amount of compliments. What then do I have to say about these other complimentary events that occur? I still feel that they are lacking the true emotion that humans are able to express to another being.
One of the errors that humans are prone to falling prey to is the overuse of common terms and thus negating the actual intention that they were used for. You can refer back to my "Love: The Bane Of Existence" blog for a perfect example. Compliments are just another one of these common sayings that have lost their initial meaning. Why is this? Why is it that humans find themselves always falling into this trap? I believe it is found deep within our actual human nature. Humans are singular and are always only looking out for themselves. That is our nature to survive and procreate. Our genes dictate us to always be looking out for ourselves. Thus when we speak to others we only convey a portion of what we actually wish to say and emotionally feel. We will only ever be able to portray our truest notions to ourselves, never to others. Next time you receive a compliment think about what the person is saying. Question their tone, body language, and actual verbal statement. You might find that they are in fact not complimenting you at all and instead are complimenting themselves for existing, surviving, and experiencing. Night, I am off to find something to occupy my mind.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Cars
Anyone who has driven in a car with me recently has come to understand one fact when I get behind the wheel, I love to race. Certainly it is not safe at all, yet as is the case with most things involving this form of entertainment I find myself doing it anyways. Often dodging in between gaps of cars that, under normal judgment, would seem risky or dangerous. Why do I find myself doing this? This compulsion and urge for speed that drives, no pun intended, me so much. Am I an addict to the rush? Is it the control that I crave so much? No, it is much simpler than that. I find myself simply wishing to make up lost time that we, as humans, always seem to let slip through our grip, water through a screen if you will. This notion and thought is my fault though, it is my idiocy, and I will explain exactly why.
How many hours are there in a day? 24. How many minutes are there in a day? 1440. How many seconds are there in a day? 86,400. When the day is done and we find ourselves aged that twenty four hours more, do these numbers change? Do they ever fluctuate? No, they are always the same. These are the finite and definitive numbers that we have assigned the time span of a day. Then, why is it that I try and make up for lost time? Time is not lost. The numbers are always the same at the end of the day. If then, one is trying to find something that was never in fact lost, would that not be their fault and idiocy? You can answer that for yourself, you know my feelings on this subject. Now then, what am I trying to get at with this whole blog? It is the fruitless and meaningless time we waste throughout the day, occupying our minds with nonsense that simply helps us deal with reality.
I know that humans are not perfect, we are organic, we are not created in factories, do not run off an infinite power source, and thus will always have faults. Of course, in modern day terms, it is impossible to not waste some "time" throughout the day. We need a break from the everyday routine of work and labor. It is only natural. Yet, why would we create a feeling of guilt when we experience this mental concept of "loss time"? Better still, what of this feeling of pride we receive when we actually make up for "loss time"? Is it that we are thus admitting to ourselves that we are in fact wasting our existence throughout the day at certain intervals? Why else would there be this feeling of guilt, or pride, in our minds? Humans are not machines, they are not cars, able to ride along the highway known as life, with minimal stops or detours for routine maintenance. I mean look at me, I am wasting my time writing this blog...about wasting time. That's some irony for you. Take care, see you out on the roads.
How many hours are there in a day? 24. How many minutes are there in a day? 1440. How many seconds are there in a day? 86,400. When the day is done and we find ourselves aged that twenty four hours more, do these numbers change? Do they ever fluctuate? No, they are always the same. These are the finite and definitive numbers that we have assigned the time span of a day. Then, why is it that I try and make up for lost time? Time is not lost. The numbers are always the same at the end of the day. If then, one is trying to find something that was never in fact lost, would that not be their fault and idiocy? You can answer that for yourself, you know my feelings on this subject. Now then, what am I trying to get at with this whole blog? It is the fruitless and meaningless time we waste throughout the day, occupying our minds with nonsense that simply helps us deal with reality.
I know that humans are not perfect, we are organic, we are not created in factories, do not run off an infinite power source, and thus will always have faults. Of course, in modern day terms, it is impossible to not waste some "time" throughout the day. We need a break from the everyday routine of work and labor. It is only natural. Yet, why would we create a feeling of guilt when we experience this mental concept of "loss time"? Better still, what of this feeling of pride we receive when we actually make up for "loss time"? Is it that we are thus admitting to ourselves that we are in fact wasting our existence throughout the day at certain intervals? Why else would there be this feeling of guilt, or pride, in our minds? Humans are not machines, they are not cars, able to ride along the highway known as life, with minimal stops or detours for routine maintenance. I mean look at me, I am wasting my time writing this blog...about wasting time. That's some irony for you. Take care, see you out on the roads.
Monday, October 6, 2008
A New Leaf, Again?
Here is the promised list of the only items I own. All other amenities are to be given away to various third parties.
1. Cellphone
2. Wallet
3. I.D.
4. Pillow Case
5. Pillow
6. Student I.D.
7. Pillow Case
8. House Key
9. Cell Phone Charger
10. Laptop
11. Laptop Charger
12. Alarm Clock
13. Blanket
14. Hookah
15. Hookah Head
16. Hookah Hose
17. Tongs
18. Monitor
19. Speakers
20. Bass Speaker
21. Tower
22. Keyboard
23. Mouse
24. Mouse Pad
25. I-Pod
26. I-Pod Headphones
27. Goggles
28. Picture - Father and Son
29. Recorder
30. Pillow
31. Bathroom Weight Scale
32. Aviators
33. Journal
34. Felt Pen
35. "The Cave" - Jose Saramago
36. Mechanical Pencil
37. I-Pod Charger
38. Blue Jeans
39. Dark Blue Jeans
40. Black Jeans
41. White Hoodie
42. Blue Striped Button Up Shirt
43. Red Striped Button Up Shirt
44. Dickie's Button Up Shirt
45. Black/White Wheeled Cabinet
46. "Chirp" Shirt
47. "Balls" Shirt
48. Black Silk Boxers
49. Blue Boxers
50. Bed Sheet
51. Spare Glasses
52. Hellsing Poster
53. Geek Week Shirt
54. Converse Sneakers
55. UT3 Shirt
56. "Crabaholic" Shirt
57. "Cool As A Moose" Shirt
58. Socks
59. Socks
60. Socks
61. Calendar
62. Socks
63. White Undershirt
64. Messenger Bag
65. Toothbrush
66. Razor
67. Nail Clippers
68. Belt
69. Blue Towel
70. Socks
71. Silk Dress Shirt
72. Dress Tie
73. Dress Overcoat
74. White Undershirt
75. Black Sabbath Shirt
Consumables do not count towards the list. Food, soap, shampoo, etc. The challenge begins.
1. Cellphone
2. Wallet
3. I.D.
4. Pillow Case
5. Pillow
6. Student I.D.
7. Pillow Case
8. House Key
9. Cell Phone Charger
10. Laptop
11. Laptop Charger
12. Alarm Clock
13. Blanket
14. Hookah
15. Hookah Head
16. Hookah Hose
17. Tongs
18. Monitor
19. Speakers
20. Bass Speaker
21. Tower
22. Keyboard
23. Mouse
24. Mouse Pad
25. I-Pod
26. I-Pod Headphones
27. Goggles
28. Picture - Father and Son
29. Recorder
30. Pillow
31. Bathroom Weight Scale
32. Aviators
33. Journal
34. Felt Pen
35. "The Cave" - Jose Saramago
36. Mechanical Pencil
37. I-Pod Charger
38. Blue Jeans
39. Dark Blue Jeans
40. Black Jeans
41. White Hoodie
42. Blue Striped Button Up Shirt
43. Red Striped Button Up Shirt
44. Dickie's Button Up Shirt
45. Black/White Wheeled Cabinet
46. "Chirp" Shirt
47. "Balls" Shirt
48. Black Silk Boxers
49. Blue Boxers
50. Bed Sheet
51. Spare Glasses
52. Hellsing Poster
53. Geek Week Shirt
54. Converse Sneakers
55. UT3 Shirt
56. "Crabaholic" Shirt
57. "Cool As A Moose" Shirt
58. Socks
59. Socks
60. Socks
61. Calendar
62. Socks
63. White Undershirt
64. Messenger Bag
65. Toothbrush
66. Razor
67. Nail Clippers
68. Belt
69. Blue Towel
70. Socks
71. Silk Dress Shirt
72. Dress Tie
73. Dress Overcoat
74. White Undershirt
75. Black Sabbath Shirt
Consumables do not count towards the list. Food, soap, shampoo, etc. The challenge begins.
A New Leaf
Well anyone that knows me also knows I hate the norm. Norm, if you are reading this, suck it. (I apologize if your name is Norm) Regardless of names and them sucking it, I am again trying to test myself. Anti-materialism seems like an interesting way. What does that mean? Go google it, I'm not typing it all out for you. You lazy, language incoming, asshole. Anyways, basically it means I am attempting to live by a set list of 75 items. I cannot have more than these items, but I can have less. If I feel at some point I want a new item to possess and own, then I must abandon an item on the list to replace it with this new incoming item. One hell of a challenge if you ask me. Oh but how I enjoy these kind of things. I'll put the list up later once I have catorgorized all the items I own and placed them on the list.
PS.
If anyone is wondering why it is 75 items and not more or less my answer is this, "I like the number 75". Also I cannot take credit for this idea. It comes from the book I read, Gospel According To Larry. You should read it, it is not a religious book at all. Just a fun read.
PS.
If anyone is wondering why it is 75 items and not more or less my answer is this, "I like the number 75". Also I cannot take credit for this idea. It comes from the book I read, Gospel According To Larry. You should read it, it is not a religious book at all. Just a fun read.
Mon Cauchemar
I had a dream the other night. I know most people care not for the stories involving dreams, yet give this one a chance. In this dream I worked at a junkyard. Everyday I woke up at the crack of dawn, showered, ate breakfast, and found myself driving to work. I drove an old beat up van. Blue. I cannot remember for the life of me what happened at work, I just remember I ended up at a police station. At this point my dream skipped, like a record. I was still a junkyard worker, just now I found myself in a town that apparently was being rioted. I was still at the police station that was previously mentioned, yet there were no police, a lot of people, mainly reporters, but no police. It was there that I stayed for a while talking to them, all different and unique, until I was fed up with the city and returned back to my junkyard. I believe I ended up playing Frisbee or some other mundane picnic sport. Anyways, why am I telling you this? Because it is my nightmare.
I lived a complete life in my dream. For all I know that alter ego of myself had a family, a steady income, a completely different name, different taste of clothing, but it was still me, Rapp. The problem is I woke up and destroyed all of it. I annihilated that whole world. All of the labor and work of that alter ego me was instantly for naught. All of those people in the police station, any life they may have had was now nothing more than a faint memory. Again you may be asking yourself, "Where's the nightmare". It has been what you have been reading the whole time. All of the work one put into a whole world, or life, and yet it was for nothing. It is a complete metaphor for our literal existence.
I can go out and put thousands of hours of work into a project or a company, yet it would be pointless in the actual long term. All of my hard work would just be destroyed in the end of things. If not by bankruptcy then by some other unknown force out there. My dream is to become a well written writer with a decent fan base, yet my fault is right there in that word, my dream. My dream the other night was so easily destroyed, what is preventing my actual dream from being destroyed? Life is as fragile as the dream of a light sleeper. Any sudden change of environment could wake the sleeper and cast it off into the heap of forgotten, incomplete dreams. Now how can one stop this nightmare?
You can't. There is no actual way to stop it. It is out of our singular reach. Unless you had complete control over everyone and everything in the world, which is utterly nonsensical, and thus the nightmare is real. Your dream is as fragile as those pleasant, or sometimes horrifying, facades that your mind creates when your eyes shut to rest. Imagine that, you break down a dream numerous times a night, does that mean you are doing the same while you are awake? What if they are not your dreams that you shatter, they belong to someone else? Then would that make you the nightmare that haunts the dreams of others? Maybe. Yet, you do not look like an eight foot tall spider that chases me around a monopoly board, so I do not believe that you are my nightmare, and thus will not destroy my dreams. Go haunt someone else, mon cauchemar.
I lived a complete life in my dream. For all I know that alter ego of myself had a family, a steady income, a completely different name, different taste of clothing, but it was still me, Rapp. The problem is I woke up and destroyed all of it. I annihilated that whole world. All of the labor and work of that alter ego me was instantly for naught. All of those people in the police station, any life they may have had was now nothing more than a faint memory. Again you may be asking yourself, "Where's the nightmare". It has been what you have been reading the whole time. All of the work one put into a whole world, or life, and yet it was for nothing. It is a complete metaphor for our literal existence.
I can go out and put thousands of hours of work into a project or a company, yet it would be pointless in the actual long term. All of my hard work would just be destroyed in the end of things. If not by bankruptcy then by some other unknown force out there. My dream is to become a well written writer with a decent fan base, yet my fault is right there in that word, my dream. My dream the other night was so easily destroyed, what is preventing my actual dream from being destroyed? Life is as fragile as the dream of a light sleeper. Any sudden change of environment could wake the sleeper and cast it off into the heap of forgotten, incomplete dreams. Now how can one stop this nightmare?
You can't. There is no actual way to stop it. It is out of our singular reach. Unless you had complete control over everyone and everything in the world, which is utterly nonsensical, and thus the nightmare is real. Your dream is as fragile as those pleasant, or sometimes horrifying, facades that your mind creates when your eyes shut to rest. Imagine that, you break down a dream numerous times a night, does that mean you are doing the same while you are awake? What if they are not your dreams that you shatter, they belong to someone else? Then would that make you the nightmare that haunts the dreams of others? Maybe. Yet, you do not look like an eight foot tall spider that chases me around a monopoly board, so I do not believe that you are my nightmare, and thus will not destroy my dreams. Go haunt someone else, mon cauchemar.
Adaptation or Redaptation?
Humans beings, supposedly one of the most resilient and versatile creatures ever to exist. The science books tell me that we can pretty much adapt and change to live in any environment, within given reason of course. Adaptation, it's the eternal skill that every human, supposedly anyways, has that allows us to continue and live. You can pick any one person up from their normal environment and place them in a completely new, different environment, they will be able to live and prosper there. It's our genetic makeup that determines this for us, or at least that's what we are suppose to believe. Yet, do we actually adapt and change at all? Look back in the history of mankind, we are always dealing with the same damn problems, just a different era of time. Don't believe me? Look back through history. We haven't adapted at all.
Singularly humans can adapt pretty well. I mean if we could not then we would certainly have been extinct a long time ago. It's just when you zoom out and start looking at our race as a whole, we haven't changed a bit. We are still dealing with the same issues that people hundreds of years ago dealt with. Race. Sex. Money. Government. Drugs. Crime. Sure humans can adapt alright. Adapt right back to the way they have always been and, from the ways thing have been progressing, always will be. Humans do not adapt at all, they just redapt (I made that word up, hurray). Now this idea of "redapting" does not only follow the normal flow of life, it also extends into religion, philosophy, politics, etc. Look at all the philosophers of all time, they all just argue the same thing. The strife of mankind. The purpose of mankind. The plague of mankind. It's all hogwash.
Now does this mean that humans have, in theory, not progressed at all over the hundreds of years? Yes, and no. We certainly have made thousands of intellectual breakthroughs in terms of technology. It just sort of ends there. We still, sorry for being blunt, suck on so many levels. Our philosophy and religion have really gone no where. It seems, for me anyways, that when it comes to deep cognitive thought, we haven't really progressed at all. We still argue about the same things that people were arguing about hundreds of years ago. We, as a race, need to kill ourselves. That's the answer. Sorry, I am feeling oddly more cynical than usual. Now go out and prosper!
Singularly humans can adapt pretty well. I mean if we could not then we would certainly have been extinct a long time ago. It's just when you zoom out and start looking at our race as a whole, we haven't changed a bit. We are still dealing with the same issues that people hundreds of years ago dealt with. Race. Sex. Money. Government. Drugs. Crime. Sure humans can adapt alright. Adapt right back to the way they have always been and, from the ways thing have been progressing, always will be. Humans do not adapt at all, they just redapt (I made that word up, hurray). Now this idea of "redapting" does not only follow the normal flow of life, it also extends into religion, philosophy, politics, etc. Look at all the philosophers of all time, they all just argue the same thing. The strife of mankind. The purpose of mankind. The plague of mankind. It's all hogwash.
Now does this mean that humans have, in theory, not progressed at all over the hundreds of years? Yes, and no. We certainly have made thousands of intellectual breakthroughs in terms of technology. It just sort of ends there. We still, sorry for being blunt, suck on so many levels. Our philosophy and religion have really gone no where. It seems, for me anyways, that when it comes to deep cognitive thought, we haven't really progressed at all. We still argue about the same things that people were arguing about hundreds of years ago. We, as a race, need to kill ourselves. That's the answer. Sorry, I am feeling oddly more cynical than usual. Now go out and prosper!
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
One Year
Well I was just looking through all of my facebook pictures from the last year, with my good friend Jess, and then it hit me. I have been at this school for a year now. It has been a whole year since I have arrived in a place completely different from my normal social region. The thing that I have never actually revealed to anyone, even my parents, was that this whole change of atmosphere was, actually, a social experiment. The experiment? Would I be able to survive, or adapt, to a sudden, and complete, change of environment? The results? Well, if you care to continue reading I will explain them.
One thing I have found buried deep within the human cognitive thought is that no one enjoys change. Sure, you can say you do, but give it time. You will eventually long for a stable environment, a routine, a norm that controls your life, makes it simple and contained. Well that is good and all, but it does you no real justice. Why? The only way for a human to truly understand life and grow is to actually experience it. You must put yourself into situations that will test your mind or body. This experiment did just that. I put myself in a situation that would cause me to reconsider everything I believed in, trusted in, or had faith in. That is what the true, hidden, meaning of maturing is, testing yourself.
When I was a child I lived a very sheltered and simple life. Yet, at the same time, I thought I was one of the more mature individuals in my age group. Was I? Looking back I do not believe I was. Which makes me laugh at the thought these days simply because back then even adults said I was mature for my age. Lies. Half truths. Propaganda that simply fed my urge to feel different from my peers. I certainly was not mature for my age, I had not experienced life at all. I may have thought I had, but I was no where near mature. It was only when I was plucked from the pot my parents had placed me in, cared for me in, and thrown myself out into the real world garden did I understand what it meant to be mature. Does this meant that I believe I currently am mature and an adult? Negative, not even close.
People have a hard time dividing the thoughts of maturity and being an adult, they do not go hand in hand. Being an adult is simple, you just wait until your physical body has aged to the point society claims you are an adult. Easy. Maturity? Not so simple. Maturity never ends, it will continue until the day you are dead in the ground. You are constantly going through experiences and thus always have the potential to mature your ideals, or thoughts, further. Our society likes to tell the young that maturity takes place between the ages of ten and twenty, wrong. It never ends. Every decision we make and every moral choice we make determines our maturity. Well that's it for now, I might write more about this tonight. Take care!
One thing I have found buried deep within the human cognitive thought is that no one enjoys change. Sure, you can say you do, but give it time. You will eventually long for a stable environment, a routine, a norm that controls your life, makes it simple and contained. Well that is good and all, but it does you no real justice. Why? The only way for a human to truly understand life and grow is to actually experience it. You must put yourself into situations that will test your mind or body. This experiment did just that. I put myself in a situation that would cause me to reconsider everything I believed in, trusted in, or had faith in. That is what the true, hidden, meaning of maturing is, testing yourself.
When I was a child I lived a very sheltered and simple life. Yet, at the same time, I thought I was one of the more mature individuals in my age group. Was I? Looking back I do not believe I was. Which makes me laugh at the thought these days simply because back then even adults said I was mature for my age. Lies. Half truths. Propaganda that simply fed my urge to feel different from my peers. I certainly was not mature for my age, I had not experienced life at all. I may have thought I had, but I was no where near mature. It was only when I was plucked from the pot my parents had placed me in, cared for me in, and thrown myself out into the real world garden did I understand what it meant to be mature. Does this meant that I believe I currently am mature and an adult? Negative, not even close.
People have a hard time dividing the thoughts of maturity and being an adult, they do not go hand in hand. Being an adult is simple, you just wait until your physical body has aged to the point society claims you are an adult. Easy. Maturity? Not so simple. Maturity never ends, it will continue until the day you are dead in the ground. You are constantly going through experiences and thus always have the potential to mature your ideals, or thoughts, further. Our society likes to tell the young that maturity takes place between the ages of ten and twenty, wrong. It never ends. Every decision we make and every moral choice we make determines our maturity. Well that's it for now, I might write more about this tonight. Take care!
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