Welcome to the world that you live in.
Welcome to the place that you call home.
Welcome to the pseudo reality that you have built around yourself like a prison.
Meant to hold you in.
Meant to contain you.
Meant to make sure that all your pleasant little dreams come true.
Welcome to the world that you wish to destroy.
To tear down.
To create.
To thrive.
To prosper.
To exist.
Welcome to the toxic filled wasteland surrounding your unpleasant little nightmares.
Welcome to the concrete forest of mankind’s environment.
Replacing all of the greenery with a content state of grey.
Welcome to the sense of urgency one feels to simply pass by your fellow man.
Not giving a second glance to the one you feel so eager to call stranger.
Welcome to the division of humanity.
The breakdown of the societal understanding of another.
The constant sense of disrespect vomited forth in words.
The subtle intricacies of relationships that are no longer found.
Welcome to the complete lack of true platonic love.
Where one must gain much more than they give.
For in our age giving is lost art.
Lost to the sand of time.
Swept away under the rug of selfishness.
Never to be thought of again.
Welcome to the audible sound of my voice.
Tickling its way against your ear drum.
Playing a fine tune that you so eagerly wish to critique and alter.
Welcome to the visual conceptualization of my being.
The sensual touch of my existence teasing your perception.
Welcome to the biased judgement of your mind.
Welcome to the thought flooding into your conscious of who I am.
Who I should be.
Who I shouldn’t be.
Who you want me to be.
Who I really am.
Welcome to the inside of your mind.
Welcome to the guise you have placed over your persona.
To shield you from the world.
To ensure that you are never to be hurt by another.
Welcome to the pain you blatantly ignore.
The dagger of false hopes that pieces against your soft fleshy confidence.
Welcome to the ignorance that you believe is the truth.
Believe like that of a dictator speaking to the masses of sheeple.
His grandeur presence too much for the common intelligence to understand.
Welcome to that all too common companion known simply as racism.
Spurring you forward.
Spurring you away.
Spurring you against the tides of progression.
Spurring you as if had no choice.
Which you don’t.
For you see.
This is the world that you live in.
This is the world that you call home.
This is the castle of life that has come to maintain your unpleasant little existence.
Now do you enjoy this?
Do you accept this?
Do you feel this is adequate enough to place your heart in?
For after all, that cliche little saying speaks the real truth.
Home is where the heart is.
Now.
Welcome to the place that you call home.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
I Never Want To Be Young Again
The other day I was standing around my house.
Nothing really to do, just a boring Autumn day.
The whipping of leaves and sticks against the age tarnished window pane.
The pseudo red glow given off by my electric fireplace.
The gentle whimper of laughing children outside playing in the street.
Playing amongst the traffic of their parental jailers.
Playing as if no one cares to look at them.
Playing as if they are still innocent.
Still naive to the world.
Still simple in thought.
Still young in mind.
I knew one of those children.
He was a friend of mine.
I did not fear that he may be killed out there in the urban playground.
Chewed alive by some carnivorous mechanism of transportation.
It would actually do him some good.
I can already envision it deep within the caverns of my mind.
Those rarely used areas of the brain that are dedicated to harboring dark thoughts.
Harboring the thoughts that should never see the light of day.
That should never be blessed enough to take life.
That should never be second guessed or pondered.
Yet here I was.
Thinking them.
Thinking that he should be struck down.
A young child destroyed before ever having the chance to exist.
The chance to live.
The chance to love.
The chance to learn.
The chance to laugh.
Destroyed before ever understanding what it means to be human.
To be addicted.
To be hated.
To be ridiculed.
To be judged.
To be mocked.
To be scorned.
But that comes later.
For now he is still a small, fragile being.
For now he is still an innocent prepubescent brat.
For now he is still enjoying the simple styles of life that only the young can experience.
Untouched by the ways of the wretched, polluted cesspools of adulthood.
God forbid that our souls might someday be redeemed.
Someday be cleansed.
Someday be forgiven for what we have become.
For now though, I am just a simple man.
Just simply standing in my house on an Autumn day.
Simply staring out at the wisps of my childhood dancing amidst the street.
I never want to be young again.
Nothing really to do, just a boring Autumn day.
The whipping of leaves and sticks against the age tarnished window pane.
The pseudo red glow given off by my electric fireplace.
The gentle whimper of laughing children outside playing in the street.
Playing amongst the traffic of their parental jailers.
Playing as if no one cares to look at them.
Playing as if they are still innocent.
Still naive to the world.
Still simple in thought.
Still young in mind.
I knew one of those children.
He was a friend of mine.
I did not fear that he may be killed out there in the urban playground.
Chewed alive by some carnivorous mechanism of transportation.
It would actually do him some good.
I can already envision it deep within the caverns of my mind.
Those rarely used areas of the brain that are dedicated to harboring dark thoughts.
Harboring the thoughts that should never see the light of day.
That should never be blessed enough to take life.
That should never be second guessed or pondered.
Yet here I was.
Thinking them.
Thinking that he should be struck down.
A young child destroyed before ever having the chance to exist.
The chance to live.
The chance to love.
The chance to learn.
The chance to laugh.
Destroyed before ever understanding what it means to be human.
To be addicted.
To be hated.
To be ridiculed.
To be judged.
To be mocked.
To be scorned.
But that comes later.
For now he is still a small, fragile being.
For now he is still an innocent prepubescent brat.
For now he is still enjoying the simple styles of life that only the young can experience.
Untouched by the ways of the wretched, polluted cesspools of adulthood.
God forbid that our souls might someday be redeemed.
Someday be cleansed.
Someday be forgiven for what we have become.
For now though, I am just a simple man.
Just simply standing in my house on an Autumn day.
Simply staring out at the wisps of my childhood dancing amidst the street.
I never want to be young again.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Are You Living Your Dream?
I was walking through the local mall today and felt the need to alter the way our society works. Now this is no big change in my usual behavior, I thoroughly enjoy throwing curve balls at people, and today was just another day to throw that ball. The ball? A simple question. The target? Those God damn telephone kiosks that seem to always want to sell you a phone better than the one you currently own. I don't understand how you can walk through a mall and have three different companies say that they are better than the stand ten feet over, when in fact they have the exact same phone and calling plan. Regardless, that was my target for this small social experiment that I was so achingly wishing to try. The question that I wished to ask the person was simple, it was the answer that was going to be complex.
Here I was walking through the mall wishing to be stopped by one of those annoying phone booth flies, awkwardly failing to be stopped mind you, when I was almost to the end of my journey to the exit. Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye I notice a phone booth attendant staring at me. I knew this was my chance. I gave her the, "I'm slightly interested" look and then changed my gaze elsewhere. Hooked. The female attendant began to yell out for my attention. I acted surprised by her yelling out to me, making it seem like I had no intention to speak to her. Slowly, I walked over to the booth, so as to show that I was cautious of the coming situation, making her put on the whole sales persona to sell me that perfect phone. Well, the conversation did not go as she expected and I think it would be best to just write the dialogue out for your reading pleasure.
Sir. Sir!
Hm?
Sir, do you have a phone?
A phone?
Yes, do you have a cellular phone?
No, I don't use a phone.
Well if I could just have-
You know what, we aren't going to do that today.
Excuse me?
You stand here in your booth and ask all these innocent bystanders questions all day long, not this time. This time I'm going to be the one to ask you a question. Just one question.
Uh...alright.
Are you living your dream?
What?
Are you living your dream?
What are you trying to sell me?
Nothing.
What are you trying to offer me?
Nothing.
You trying to hit on me?
No.
Then what are you-
Are you living your dream. Think about it!
-End Conversation-
I didn't care to listen to her conversation anymore seeing as it was most likely going to go back to her attempting to sell me a phone at some point. I just cut her off, asked the question again and hit my hand against the booth counter top when I said, "Think about it!". It was to add dramatic effect and show that I was serious when asking the question. The best part was just walking away from the conversation after that last part. After about forty feet I had to look back and see her reaction to the whole happening. What was she doing? Still standing there staring at me walk away. What did I do? Pointed at her and put my sunglasses on, for the badass effect really. Anyways, I'm sure you, the reader, are wondering what the whole point of this was.
In our society these days there really is no true social interaction. We go throughout our day and simply try and not push the envelope or draw attention to ourselves. Me? I will not have it. I want, sorry, I crave to push the envelope. I crave the attention actions outside of the social norm draw. Now that does not mean that this whole experiment is simply so I can get a rise or a high out of it. The purpose is simply to show people that there are some genuine people out there who have unconditional kindness for others. My hope for this whole little shindig? I hope that woman goes home, does her normal nightly routine, gets ready to go to bed and starts to think about her day. Eventually, she will start to think about the man who asked her if she was living her dream. This will, hopefully, start a chain of events that causes this woman to go out and pursue her actual dream in this life. After all we only have one life and one dream to fill this life with. My next experiment? I am going to go up to some random female, hopefully surrounded by a group of her friends, and simply say to her, "You are a beautiful woman". There will be no sexual, emotional, or primal feelings towards her. Just unconditional kindness towards another human being. Now please, ask yourself, "Are you living your dream?"
Here I was walking through the mall wishing to be stopped by one of those annoying phone booth flies, awkwardly failing to be stopped mind you, when I was almost to the end of my journey to the exit. Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye I notice a phone booth attendant staring at me. I knew this was my chance. I gave her the, "I'm slightly interested" look and then changed my gaze elsewhere. Hooked. The female attendant began to yell out for my attention. I acted surprised by her yelling out to me, making it seem like I had no intention to speak to her. Slowly, I walked over to the booth, so as to show that I was cautious of the coming situation, making her put on the whole sales persona to sell me that perfect phone. Well, the conversation did not go as she expected and I think it would be best to just write the dialogue out for your reading pleasure.
Sir. Sir!
Hm?
Sir, do you have a phone?
A phone?
Yes, do you have a cellular phone?
No, I don't use a phone.
Well if I could just have-
You know what, we aren't going to do that today.
Excuse me?
You stand here in your booth and ask all these innocent bystanders questions all day long, not this time. This time I'm going to be the one to ask you a question. Just one question.
Uh...alright.
Are you living your dream?
What?
Are you living your dream?
What are you trying to sell me?
Nothing.
What are you trying to offer me?
Nothing.
You trying to hit on me?
No.
Then what are you-
Are you living your dream. Think about it!
-End Conversation-
I didn't care to listen to her conversation anymore seeing as it was most likely going to go back to her attempting to sell me a phone at some point. I just cut her off, asked the question again and hit my hand against the booth counter top when I said, "Think about it!". It was to add dramatic effect and show that I was serious when asking the question. The best part was just walking away from the conversation after that last part. After about forty feet I had to look back and see her reaction to the whole happening. What was she doing? Still standing there staring at me walk away. What did I do? Pointed at her and put my sunglasses on, for the badass effect really. Anyways, I'm sure you, the reader, are wondering what the whole point of this was.
In our society these days there really is no true social interaction. We go throughout our day and simply try and not push the envelope or draw attention to ourselves. Me? I will not have it. I want, sorry, I crave to push the envelope. I crave the attention actions outside of the social norm draw. Now that does not mean that this whole experiment is simply so I can get a rise or a high out of it. The purpose is simply to show people that there are some genuine people out there who have unconditional kindness for others. My hope for this whole little shindig? I hope that woman goes home, does her normal nightly routine, gets ready to go to bed and starts to think about her day. Eventually, she will start to think about the man who asked her if she was living her dream. This will, hopefully, start a chain of events that causes this woman to go out and pursue her actual dream in this life. After all we only have one life and one dream to fill this life with. My next experiment? I am going to go up to some random female, hopefully surrounded by a group of her friends, and simply say to her, "You are a beautiful woman". There will be no sexual, emotional, or primal feelings towards her. Just unconditional kindness towards another human being. Now please, ask yourself, "Are you living your dream?"
Monday, November 17, 2008
A Common Car Ride
Open up your bibles children.
For you must listen to my words.
Listen with those ears you have.
Listen with those hearts you have.
Listen with those minds you have.
This is the sonic rehabilitation of that which lost its way long ago.
Now read with those fleshy organs of visual stimulation and understand what you have forgotten.
Devils.
Angels.
Demons.
Cherubs.
Man made scapegoats to allow the escapism that we all so crave.
Crave like that of an addiction.
An addiction that will rain steel upon your soul.
The inherent evil that runs through those pathetic veins.
It will destroy you.
It will consume you.
It will annihilate that which you have striven for.
And what, though, is that?
What is it that you have striven for, my children?
It is those toys that you have adulterated your world with.
Drugs.
Wars.
Politics.
You seem so eager to fill your pointless time with such monotony.
A child is born into this world only to be given an allowance of drugs.
A woman is loved only to be raped by that love.
A city is built through sweat only to be bombed to flames.
Bombed with your humanistic useless nature.
What is it that drives you to such measures?
Drives you to destroy the very being that shares this existence with you.
Fear?
Fear of what you are?
Fear of what you are not?
Fear of what you will become?
Fear not my children.
I have the answer.
I have the holy grail of all knowledge that you wastefully search for.
What is it?
What is that knowledge?
What is that answer?
Well, I will tell you.
I will open up your eyes and let the intelligence of these words speak in a spectrum never before seen.
I will pry open your ignorance and pour the truth down your throats.
You will consume it, as it has consumed you.
The answer?
The answer is, there is no fucking question.
We are all sinners.
We are all human.
And we are all useless.
Now go forth, my children.
Go forth and become that which you have always feared.
Become the weapons of mass destruction you so fruitlessly search for.
Become the ultimate means of global annihilation.
You are the harbingers of doom.
You are the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You are the flames that lick against your decrepit soul.
For my children, do you not see now?
You are nothing but the demons you mindlessly created.
You are the devils in the depths of hell.
You are the evil in the night.
You.
Are.
My.
Children.
For you must listen to my words.
Listen with those ears you have.
Listen with those hearts you have.
Listen with those minds you have.
This is the sonic rehabilitation of that which lost its way long ago.
Now read with those fleshy organs of visual stimulation and understand what you have forgotten.
Devils.
Angels.
Demons.
Cherubs.
Man made scapegoats to allow the escapism that we all so crave.
Crave like that of an addiction.
An addiction that will rain steel upon your soul.
The inherent evil that runs through those pathetic veins.
It will destroy you.
It will consume you.
It will annihilate that which you have striven for.
And what, though, is that?
What is it that you have striven for, my children?
It is those toys that you have adulterated your world with.
Drugs.
Wars.
Politics.
You seem so eager to fill your pointless time with such monotony.
A child is born into this world only to be given an allowance of drugs.
A woman is loved only to be raped by that love.
A city is built through sweat only to be bombed to flames.
Bombed with your humanistic useless nature.
What is it that drives you to such measures?
Drives you to destroy the very being that shares this existence with you.
Fear?
Fear of what you are?
Fear of what you are not?
Fear of what you will become?
Fear not my children.
I have the answer.
I have the holy grail of all knowledge that you wastefully search for.
What is it?
What is that knowledge?
What is that answer?
Well, I will tell you.
I will open up your eyes and let the intelligence of these words speak in a spectrum never before seen.
I will pry open your ignorance and pour the truth down your throats.
You will consume it, as it has consumed you.
The answer?
The answer is, there is no fucking question.
We are all sinners.
We are all human.
And we are all useless.
Now go forth, my children.
Go forth and become that which you have always feared.
Become the weapons of mass destruction you so fruitlessly search for.
Become the ultimate means of global annihilation.
You are the harbingers of doom.
You are the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You are the flames that lick against your decrepit soul.
For my children, do you not see now?
You are nothing but the demons you mindlessly created.
You are the devils in the depths of hell.
You are the evil in the night.
You.
Are.
My.
Children.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Fuel
A couple days ago my friends and I were outside reminiscing about a party we had a bit ago. Amidst our discussions we started talking about how I took a bottle to the face during the night. It's a long story really but, I was laying on the floor talking to someone and had a bottle slam against my mouth, which caused it to bleed a decent amount. Well I simply got up, went to the bathroom and spat the blood out. Apparently while spitting it out I began to laugh and say, "That's what fuels me!" Which, in typical party manner, due to the inebriation of those around myself made it sound hilarious. I didn't think anything about it at the time yet when it was brought up again during this reminiscent discussion I actually began to ponder it greatly. Human beings are nothing but an organism.
One thing that human beings always seem to suffer from is this disconnection from our natural existence. We are only mammals, mutli-cellular organisms. We may indeed be filled with a great intelligence which sets us apart from the various other species that inhabit this world yet, we should not distance ourselves so much as to forget what we are; skin and bone. It is simple to think we are on a whole different playing field than the other creatures, I can attone for this yet, we are mortal beings, we are not Gods. I had forgotten this concept of being a human. It took a beer bottle to the face and a sink full of blood to bring me back down to earth. I guess what I am trying to say is that when you believe you really are more than human, or at least forget this concept of mortality, get hit in the face with a bottle. Worked for me and I can say for damn sure it should work for you.
One thing that human beings always seem to suffer from is this disconnection from our natural existence. We are only mammals, mutli-cellular organisms. We may indeed be filled with a great intelligence which sets us apart from the various other species that inhabit this world yet, we should not distance ourselves so much as to forget what we are; skin and bone. It is simple to think we are on a whole different playing field than the other creatures, I can attone for this yet, we are mortal beings, we are not Gods. I had forgotten this concept of being a human. It took a beer bottle to the face and a sink full of blood to bring me back down to earth. I guess what I am trying to say is that when you believe you really are more than human, or at least forget this concept of mortality, get hit in the face with a bottle. Worked for me and I can say for damn sure it should work for you.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Quick Creative Writing
Where's your cell phone?
What?
Where is your cell phone?
Why do you want it?
Just let me see it.
What are you my jailer?
Give me your god damn cell phone.
No, get the hell away from me. You have no reason to see my cell phone. You just-
No reason? No reason!?
Yes, you have no reason.
You all to well know my reason.
Oh is that it then? You are still all bent up over that?
THAT! OF COURSE I AM STILL BENT OVER THAT!
Wait...wait...Whoa...Put that down. ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND!?
Your lucky it missed.
Hey...STOP...FUCKING QUIT IT! Whoa not that...Even you know how much that china is worth!
Oh it's worth far less than seeing it cave in your skull.
You are a fucking god damn psycho!
ALL I WANTED WAS YOUR CELL PHONE!
Fuck you!
CELL PHONE!
Jesus Christ, that one fucking hurt!
CELL PHONE!
Look. Seriously! Stop it's not what you think!
CELL PHONE!
Hold on...wait...Ugh...My fucking ribs.
All I wanted to do was check your call logs.
Oh god this really hurts.
A simple thing. A couple button clicks and-
Is this blood? Oh fuck I'm bleeding.
And we would have avoided this, no problem at all.
You want my fucking cell phone!?
Wait, what are you doing?
Have fun checking the logs now!
No...NO! STOP!
Your fucking insecurities have fucking driven you to the point of insanity. You always were so worried about your weight.
I JUST WANTED YOUR CELL PHONE! NOW LOOK AT YOU! NOTHING BUT A WASTE! Nothing but blood! Nothing but, but...my love.
-Silence-
What?
Where is your cell phone?
Why do you want it?
Just let me see it.
What are you my jailer?
Give me your god damn cell phone.
No, get the hell away from me. You have no reason to see my cell phone. You just-
No reason? No reason!?
Yes, you have no reason.
You all to well know my reason.
Oh is that it then? You are still all bent up over that?
THAT! OF COURSE I AM STILL BENT OVER THAT!
Wait...wait...Whoa...Put that down. ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND!?
Your lucky it missed.
Hey...STOP...FUCKING QUIT IT! Whoa not that...Even you know how much that china is worth!
Oh it's worth far less than seeing it cave in your skull.
You are a fucking god damn psycho!
ALL I WANTED WAS YOUR CELL PHONE!
Fuck you!
CELL PHONE!
Jesus Christ, that one fucking hurt!
CELL PHONE!
Look. Seriously! Stop it's not what you think!
CELL PHONE!
Hold on...wait...Ugh...My fucking ribs.
All I wanted to do was check your call logs.
Oh god this really hurts.
A simple thing. A couple button clicks and-
Is this blood? Oh fuck I'm bleeding.
And we would have avoided this, no problem at all.
You want my fucking cell phone!?
Wait, what are you doing?
Have fun checking the logs now!
No...NO! STOP!
Your fucking insecurities have fucking driven you to the point of insanity. You always were so worried about your weight.
I JUST WANTED YOUR CELL PHONE! NOW LOOK AT YOU! NOTHING BUT A WASTE! Nothing but blood! Nothing but, but...my love.
-Silence-
Monday, November 3, 2008
NaNoWriMo
Alright well I have taken it upon myself to actually enter and attempt to write the 50,000 word novel for the Nation Novel Writer Month. Of course this is not going to be an easy thing to accomplish, although I am extremely enthusiastic about it currently, and thus will drag my personal blog writing down a bit. I can guarantee that it is not for reason of wanting to ignore the blog writing, simply just lack of time. There is a possibility of uploading my writing onto the blog and showing various excerpts from the novel, not promised though.
I do not wish to release a lot of information about the novel, mainly due to the lack of information I have mentally created for it, yet I will allow the basic premise to be known. It will be a dream sequence based in an originally created world, not unlike our own. The main character will come to understand that the world he is in is certainly not the normal world he is used to and begin to question whether or not it actually exists, thus creating a paradox. This idea may change completely though as time goes on and as I begin to develop the idea further. As always, do enjoy your life and I hope you are living your dream. I'm off to write.
I do not wish to release a lot of information about the novel, mainly due to the lack of information I have mentally created for it, yet I will allow the basic premise to be known. It will be a dream sequence based in an originally created world, not unlike our own. The main character will come to understand that the world he is in is certainly not the normal world he is used to and begin to question whether or not it actually exists, thus creating a paradox. This idea may change completely though as time goes on and as I begin to develop the idea further. As always, do enjoy your life and I hope you are living your dream. I'm off to write.
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